Sunday, May 17, 2009

Writing from the road

After what seemed like ten hours under the hot, beating sun and our car slowed in traffic that rivaled a snail's pace-we finally made it to our destination in Rhode Island.

I also learned a couple things along the way as well. Namely DO NOT listen to husband when he suggests an alternate route. Stick with your gut feeling, and don't allow him to persuade you to take the scenic route, the shorter route or whatever possible route he suggests. Hubby decided on an alternate route yesterday. My bladder was full and I assumed the shortest route would provide me with quicker relief. I was wrong. Instead of I-95, we headed to RI via 495. And there was construction going on-even on a Saturday. Now if you have ever had to wait in hours for traffic, under a hot sun, with a full bladder you probably know how I felt.

To make matters worse, there was NO place I could go-sure, there was a strip of land between the north and southbound lanes, but there was no privacy. Hubby mentioned something about going on the side of the road-which is easy for our male counterparts. For us ladies, it involves dropping our drawers and exposing our nether regions to the elements-which in this case was bright sunlight and a full audience of cars backed up in traffic. So I waited...and WAITED. Crossed my legs and uncrossed them, shifted my weight from one side to the other and seriously pondered how to go in my empty Diet Coke bottle without causing a flood-and silently cursed hubby under my breath.

Just when it became apparent that the flood gates were poised to open, traffic started moving. I smiled at the Heavens above, glad that the image of me relieving myself on the side of the road wasn't going to be a reality-since that it itself was enough to scar small children and make grown men cry. I will say that I made it to the hotel bathroom-barely in time-but mission accomplished in the correct spot, thank goodness.

Oh, and the other thing I learned yesterday? Let's just say that if I am drinking and driving on a long road trip make sure that I have a contingency plan in effect-my bladder DEPENDS on it!


Leslie M. said...

hahahha.. YOU are always good for a LAUGH and a Good story!

Years ago on a Trip from Long Island NY to Penn... Me and my weak pea sized bladder were IN HUGE trouble.. after an hour of Bladder spasms and NO potty in sight.. I finally told HUBBY to pull it over..
I opened the van doors and let 'er rip.. ahhhh

My 2 1'2 year old Jessica had to go potty too.. I said Jess do you wanna go.. and she said.. YES Momma, but I'll wait for a Bathroom! hahahahah
She showed me! hahahh

That was the ONLY time EVER did that, and I KNEW if I didn't I would NOT Last another MINUTE!

YOU did better than me kiddo!
Have fun!!!

Dede said...

Wow, sounds miserable, but I agree with the others, you are a great story teller!

Anonymous said...

I've been in that situation many times. Sorry to hear it happened to you :(

What I really came by to say is ...
You've been tagged:

I hope you'll see this!

Lapa37 said...

You poor thing I'm glad to hear that you didn't have to expose yourself t the world.Have fun

Carol said...

Oh your hubby decided alternate route that's fine and in that route construction was going on oh is it!!1
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