Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Skeletons in the closet...

I admit it. I have skeletons in my closet. Really, what family doesn't have something they don't want the neighbors to know about? Sure, there are plenty of people who say they don't have anything to worry about...till they become famous, lol.

I'm a brave blogger-stepping back from the joys of family life and the warm and fuzzy posts to occasionally write about the darker side of my family life. Why? Because I know I am not the only person out there who has had family members with substance abuse issues, mental health issues, legal issues and who has had to deal with teen pregnancy and the possibility of raising a grandchild because both parents are still children themselves.

Things happen in life, even when we often do our best to prevent them. Sometimes, we have to meet things head on instead of sweeping things under the carpet, so to speak. At times, the best therapy is to write about it-getting it off my chest and out into the open. Other times, I just want to stick my head in the sand and hide. And sometimes, I will just take a break from it all-and spend some quality time relaxing and not dwelling on the issues at hand.

We all have a skeleton or two in our closet, something we don't want to talk about, think about, or even write about. So we shut the door and keep it inside. Which is fine, but what about when that door opens up? How do we handle things then?

I just take a step back, take a deep breath, and go on with life. If the road wasn't a bit bumpy at times, life would be way too easy. There was a time I didn't always think that way, though. Even my friends and co-workers are amazed that I can look at things so calmly. But when I realized that things were going to happen, and I wasn't in control of those things-couldn't be in control-I learned to let go and work on solutions to what curve balls life was throwing my way.

Like right now, my 16 yr old son and his 14 year old girlfriend are going to be parents. Yes, I said their ages correctly. NO, I don't advocate teen pregnancy. I think it's terrible that they are giving up some of the most precious years of their lives and growing up way too soon. But I am willing to support them and help them with their new baby. Is it going to be easy? No, but they will soon find that out. Considering her mother is an alcoholic who is very unstable now, they most likely will live with me-yet it is still hard becoming a grandparent this way-I would have loved for them to have waited, gotten married first, etc... because as a mother I have dreams and aspirations for my children, like all of you do as well.

The best thing to remember is that you are not alone. Others have similar issues, some better and some far worse. And if your skeletons decide to come out? Ignore the whisperings, the chastizing glances from onlookers and take a deep breath, move forward, and if someone chooses to judge you or criticize you-remember "Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone" because no one is perfect, and those that pretend to be are hypocrites. Because one day, even THEIR skeletons will open the closet door.


lmarroquin_68 said...

i agree with you totally...........people need to not judge someelse when their own closet is filled with garbage....i will help get stuff for that lil guy coming......if you need my help let me know........you was here for me and now it is my turn to pay it forward....................lisa

Debbie said...

Yes, everyone does indeed have skeletons. It is not up to us to judge, but to be supportive and move forward. Wishing you the very best for your son and your new family.

Carol said...

Darker side of family oops!!! we should always take positive points dear!!!
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