Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I Dream of Zombies

I will admit it. I think about zombies WAY too much. Viruses, nukes, chemicals, acid rain--you name it, and I think it is coming. And bringing us zombies.

When the Swine Flu was whipping up people into a frenzy, I was thinking about zombies. When I hear on the news about a nuclear "incident" somewhere in the world, I start thinking about zombies. When there are meteor showers, I am thinking it will bring some virus or life form-and make us into zombies. (Can you tell that I watch ALOT of zombie movies?)

I live down the road from TWO cemeteries-where most of the town's population is buried. At nighttime, when I drive by the cemeteries I go faster than I should. Visions of a hoarde of zombies, arms outstreched, moaning "Brains, Brains!" fill my thoughts. Even in the daytime, I am on guard. My grandmother was buried at the beginning of April, and during the graveside service I kept nervously glancing around expecting to see a hand pop up from a neighboring grave.

My dad was cremated in February. He was smart, because ashes can't come back to eat you later. In the funeral home with my mom, while planning the arrangements for my grandmother's funeral I told my mom I wanted my gram cremated too. Mom said NO, that was not what SHE wanted. (SHE being my grandmother) I told my mom SHE did NOT want to come back as the living dead, and that by cremating her, we were ensuring that she would not come back to pay us a visit at a later date. During this conversation, the undertaker was sitting there, somber as could be, nervously twisting his pen and pretending to read some document that was on his desk. But I could tell that he had heard this before, (or he thought I was certifiably nuts) because I could have sworn that I saw a brief smile and heard a faint chuckle before he went back to his long, somber face. How many of you have seen an undertaker smile? I know I haven't-ever. By the way, I lost the battle. Gram got buried in a lovely floral dress, in a gorgeous light pink metal casket, with a very tight and HEAVY vault keeping her sealed for all of eternity...I hope.

Good night Gram and Dad, I love and miss you both!

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