Natural Shelving?

I am not even going to justify this post with a pic. Last night I decided I'd let hubby out of the doghouse long enough (see the Burger King incident below) to go to a local Mexican restaurant about a half hour away so I could eat my nachos and have a good, strong drink. (yes, it was one of THOSE days at work!)

After a bit of running around we got settled inside the restaurant and I realized something. The shirt I had on wasn't stained...yet. Jose knew when I glanced down at "the girls" that I was checking to see if the shirt had previous battle scars (i.e. food stains) from a prior incident.

The nachos were yummy-with lots of chopped tomatoes, onions, cilantro and of course the guacamole and sour cream too. Very cheesy with beef and on a bed of refried beans too. Now this was my kind of meal! I dug in, starved since I hadn't had lunch earlier and it was now pushing 6 pm. Jose had fajitas, Deja had chicken fingers-it was a great meal. Except for little by little I started to wear it. My natural shelving caught any stray food particles before they hit the table. First a stray tomato hit, mmm...a nice red tomato juice stain on the left side. Then a semi refried bean slipped off a chip, leaving a brown stain in the center. And finally, knowing all hope was lost for this shirt, a piece of ground beef hopped off to join the others and contribute a nice greasy looking stain on the right side.

When we pass the high chairs with bibs in the restaurant Jose looks at me and smiles. He even took one once, and I refused to wear it. After all, I am an adult and I shouldn't be bibbed unless I am eating lobster.

I actually thought I was totally alone in suffering from natural shelving, and I could have sworn that My Humps was beginning to be my new theme song. But my coworker suffers from it too! Only she's smarter than I am and carries a Tide To Go Pen in her purse.

Later that evening, we came home and watched a movie in bed. I was turned towards the TV and Jose reached over me to get the control once the movie ended. I still had my same shirt on from earlier at the restaurant and heard hubby laughing. The control had been in the vicinity of my shelving and when he reached for it something fell off it. He picked it up to show me and couldn't stop laughing. I turned towards him and peered at the object he held between his fingers... and saw it was a piece of tomato that had hitched a ride between the girls. Geez, I used to be thrilled when I was younger and things were perkier. Now that gravity has hit me, I could keep a dozen pencils under them and there is no way those suckers are falling out. Heck, I probably couldn't even FIND half of the pencils afterwards when I went back to retrieve them!

All you crafty people out there on Etsy...got any ideas for a mommy bib? It's gotta be stylish and removable, so it's easy to wash... HELP!!! Because I am bringing home the bacon...but in a whole different way! (yup, we had breakfast at the office today, and guess what hitched a ride with me today?)