Monday, December 1, 2008

I know I should be Jumping for Joy, but...

I mean, I won TWO COMPLETELY AWESOME wonderful blog wins today. Things I really wanted and am going to have so much fun using. And I am so damn psyched, but I just can't get around to feeling very happy. I have been so fortunate with bloggy wins lately, it has been amazing. I love reading new blogs, visiting new sites, and most of all meeting some very wonderful people online. Not to mention the recipes, hints, tips and other stuff I have learned.

Earlier this evening, my mom called me and told me she and my dad got back from his dr. appointment. His appointment was originally scheduled for Dec. 9th, but when they moved it up to today, the 1st I kind of knew that wasn't good news.

He has non small cell squamous lung cancer, stage 3. His cancer is good sized, about 6 centimeters and the reason he hasn't been breathing well is that the cancer is growing over his airpipe or in that area, blocking it. He also has moderate emphysema and his heart test didn't come back very good-some of the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes as well. Radiation and Chemo are definitely on the list, surgery in the future, we're not sure. The surgeons and team assigned to his case meets tomorrow to decide on his treatment plan.

My mom was supposed to run an errand for me to the post office since work has been completely nuts-and she hasn't because she forgot. I can understand, because we both have alot on our mind right now. Between my dad and my son-who just might be a teen father in the spring-lots of things have been going through my mind. Some people think I am brave to blog about these things, as most blogs are happy, funny, and very rarely talk about the bad moments. Maybe I am brave, because I bring up the bad moments, I dunno. But to me, writing is all about expressing yourself-the good, the bad and the ugly (which would be just a pic of me at 42 lol...) and if I feel I have to tread on eggshells because of what others might be thinking or writing about me behind my back-then I shouldn't be writing anything. I've seen some blogs promoting blog peace-and wondered what it was all about. I assume it is because people are writing nasty things about each other-which to me kinda sucks and reminds me of the movie Mean Girls. I thought that type of drama ended in high school... maybe I am just being bitchy, maybe it's hormones, a full moon coming up, PMS, anxiety or a combination of all of the above but bear with me-this too, will pass. Until then, goodnight.

No comments: