Saturday, March 20, 2010

A Gift for Myself...


Last year when my dad died, a whole lot of shit went on. (to clarify this sentence a bit further, I am editing this post to reflect that certain family members did not agree on estate matters. "Anonymous" left me a message because they just didn't get it I guess.)My mother and my father had gotten back together and for the last 23 years of his life they were a couple again. Although they didn't "live together" she was at his house daily, going home to sleep and care for my elderly grandmother, who ended up passing away last April 8th-two months after my father died. Talk about a double whammy-it was and is extremely difficult knowing that last year half my family died. All I have left is my mother, who has become depressed and her ailments seem much more pronounced this year, I now see her as much older and frailer than she has ever been.

My mother was driving around in an old 20 year jalopy. She and my grandmother kept sinking money into it, but they were fighting a losing battle. My father knew this, and promised my mother she could have his 2000 Volkswagen Golf should anything happen to him. Not being legally married, what should have been put in writing never was. While they SHOULD have gotten married, AND he gave her a ring-to GET married would have caused a cut in social security benefits that neither one of them could afford. I wasn't executor of the estate, my father trusted my half sister and her husband to respect his wishes. So, when the mention of the car came up, my mom was first told she could "buy it for $2000.00." She was shocked, and taken aback. She mentioned that my father wanted her to have it, and that the day he died he had even told his friend his wishes, because he just didn't feel well and perhaps sensed that his time had come and his battle with lung cancer had been lost.

So, while she grieved and she and I went to the crematorium with the undertaker, my siblings had a pow-wow without us. And they decided to sell the car for even more money, without even consulting me. I told my mom I'd let them have my share of his estate so she could get the car, but she refused. To her, it was the principle of the thing. Not one of them went to see him at the funeral parlor, but they were all too happy to change the locks on his home so my mom couldn't get in as well.

Anyways, this post is about a gift for me... I'm getting a new car. Not because I need one, or even want one. But because my mother is getting my 2003 Mazda Protege. Since her now 21 year old Oldsmobile won't even pass inspection-not to mention the latest noise it is now making from the muffler, which has a hole in it someplace. The payments on the 2010 Mazda 3 sedan are low, and I qualified for 60 months zero interest financing, which hubby really loved. Making those payments won't be easy, but knowing my dad and my grandmother (who'd been saving diligently for a new car before she died suddenly)will perhaps provide a little "divine intervention" I feel a bit more comfortable with my decision. I know that my "old" car will be reliable and last my mom quite a few years, and I won't have to worry about her getting stuck on the side of the road somewhere-which actually happened twice last year. It is going to suck having a car payment again, that I can confess. But I know in my heart, giving her my car, which I bought new back in 2003 and know all its history, maintenance etc.. I know I am doing the RIGHT thing. As far as my "siblings" go, I can only say "What Goes Around, Comes Around."

Since I don't have the car yet, I can't take a photo to share with you all... but I've put up a stock photo of what it looks like, except that mine is black with a black interior :)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You must have been sitting on a seat.
It is great to know the shit happened after your father died.
So your father was innocent of any crap that happened last year. If your father was alive the shit would not have happened because you relate that your father died THEN the shit happened
Great. Get your father back and tell him that he was a great father as the shit happened after he died. Now start again.
"Last year when my dad died, a whole lot of shit went on."

Michele P. said...

Um, my post was about greed and how when something tragic happens people come out of the woodwork to cause shit at a time when things just shouldn't have been happening. Not that everything should be all rosy and happy either, but out of respect for the deceased people should at least TRY to get along. If he hadn't died, no the shit would not have happened. But he did, and it did. Everyone dies eventually-even one day you will :) I don't profess that my dad was a saint, because I know he wasn't. But I doubt you are either. Maybe that's why you post under "anonymous". If I COULD get him back, I would. Not to prevent the shit from happening of course, but just to let him know that he was loved.

Vicki said...

Sad that death brings all kind of heartache....Keep doing what you feel is right Michele and to hell with what others think you should or should not have done. You're a good daughter..take care of your Mom cause like you said, it all comes back to slap you in the face..either good or bad. I'm proud of you.. Go buy that car!

Nicole said...

i just bought a 2010 Mazda 3 (black on black) and i love it!! I also bought my car as a gift to myself after my grandfather passed away a couple of months ago. i hope u enjoy ur little gift as much as i am enjoying mine.

Vmichelle said...

I have an award for your on my blog. Check it out.

http://www.letsjustgiveitaway.com/2010/03/beautiful-blogger-award.html

Valerie
www.letsjusgiveitaway.com

exotic1 said...

I know exactly what your saying Michele. We just went through a bit of that ourselves just 2 weeks ago. There was a will but nothing was done as the will said. People that were suppose to get certain things didn't get anything others got things but not was was in the will. It was said "All the stuff was stolen" The greed was horrible and the will didn't even matter so I don't know how the decease can protect their wishes when even wills don't work. Unless you have tons of money to spend on lawyers and by then what you would of received is valued at less than the lawyer fees what do you gain but lots of headaches~!!!! That's how people get away with it. Our judicial system does not work. Just look at it this way they will have to meet their maker some day and answer for it then.

Anonymous said...

Love the new car. Glad to see your mom got a car AFTER all. You are a sweet person and some day they will get theirs. What goes around comes around. Remember that and smile to yourself :)

SonyaAnn said...

I'm so sorry about the problems in your family.
Keep you head up and ignore people that don't leave their names or just delete them!